R.I.P. my lovely

She watched the people move around the room
But she remained where she was.
Her heart broke when she watched her childhood friend lying on the floor.
He could barely stand up or move at all.
She cried silently and blamed herself for not being there for not taking him with her.
He had been there when she had been frightened in the dark.
He had been there when she'd felt alone.
He had been there when she just needed to vent about life.
He had always been there.
But when he needed her the most, she closed her eyes, turned her back and left.
'Traitor.'
People shook their heads while looking at him, petted his head, comforted him.
But she just sat there.
She watched how they put him to sleep, tears rolling down her cheeks while she tried to remain composed.
'He made it,' whispered the vet and she wanted to yell at them, tell them to wake him up.
But it was too little too late.
She looked at him and told herself that he was still breathing.
When everything was over and done with, she stood up and walked out the door, barely showing any emotion.
These people were at least partly to blame for his death. She wouldn't say it out loud but knew it.
She wanted to tell them to go fuck themselves and never contact her again.
She wanted him back.
In her opinion life was just so unfair. She wanted to turn back time, kick her mother in her ass and take him with her.
But time was only passing. No one could turn it back.
And so she left and knew she would miss him and blame herself for not being strong enough to stay there for him.
- rest in peace, rocky. I hope life up there is better and that you feel better now. I miss you and I'm so fucking sorry. -

Worte

'Verstehst du es denn noch immer nicht?'
'Was gibt es daran nicht zu verstehen.'
'Du tust es also nicht.'
'Nein. Du hast gesagt-'
'Du brauchst nicht meine Worte zu wiederholen.'
'Aber-'
'Nein. Du verstehst nicht. Es sind nicht die Worte, die Wiederholung bedürfen. Es ist das Gefühl.'
'Das Gefühl?'
'Das Gefühl, das hinter den Worten steckt, ist wichtiger.'
'Und welches Gefühl steckt hinter den Worten: Es ist okay, du kannst es nicht. Denn für mich fühlt sich das stark nach einer Abwertung meiner selbst und Unzufriedenheit deinerseits an.'
Er lächelte. 'Nun für mich fühlt es sich mehr nach einer Schätzung deiner Schwäche und, ich gebe zu, ein klein wenig Genugtuung an.'
'Ich weiß nicht, ob diese Antwort eine Ohrfeige oder einen Kuss verdient.'
Sein Lächeln wuchs. 'Und kommt es von dir, so ist mir beides genug.'
'Manchmal versteh ich dich nicht. Beides wäre dir recht?!'
Er grinste. 'Beides würde mir zeigen, dass du etwas für mich empfindest, also ja. Und jetzt küss mich mein zänkisches Weib.'
'Weib?'
Er lachte.

Schlaf / Sleep (mf)

Und des Wartens war sie müde.
Lag in ihrem Bett, allein, gedankenverloren, der Welt dort draußen unbewusst.
Die Erinnerungen des Tages plagten sie, bis sie selbst des Denkens zu müde war.
Sie verschloss die Augen und beschloss, dass, obwohl es der Fragen viele gab, sie bis mindestens morgen warten mussten.
Dann überkam sie der Schlaf und alles passte zusammen, in der kleinen Welt von ihr geschaffen.

And the waiting tired her.
Lying in her bed, alone, lost in thought, unconscious of the outside world.
The memories of the day plagued her until even thinking tired her.
She closed her eyes and decided that, although there were so many questions, they had to wait at least until the next day to be answered.
Then sleep overcame her and everything fell into place, in her own little world she created.

Sheep (mF)

They watched him whispering, giggling,
Pointed fingers at him, pitied him.
Seeing only a silly fool, they started to cackle.
'look at him,' one grinned, 'he looks so ridiculous, so pathetic.'

And he laughed quietly to himself,
Laughing at them, at their sheep-like laughter.
Standing proudly on his own he shook his head.
'never,' he sighed, 'never do I want to be like them.'

(this may be the finished version. Maybe I look at it in a month and change it a bit. Don't know that yet.)

Hello you !

So yeah. You found this site. Don't know how, and it's really not that important but still. You managed to get here. Without being eaten or getting fucked over by my imagination. At the moment it seems to be rather nice... Maybe it's just an act.
Anyway. This site is dedicated to the crazy stuff that sometimes pops up in my mind and refuses to leave until I've written it down. Sometimes it tries to go utterly crazy and leave all logic and morals behind but I try to reinforce at least some of it.
The stuff I write is rather important to me, so if you don't like it and decide to write a review, please stop or at least give me some tips. I don't think I'm a professional writer, poet or whatever so critic is okay as long as it doesn't get too personal. Then I might hunt you down and force you to say something nice. I don't know about what - maybe Pascal because Pascal is awesome - but I tell you I'd do it in a heartbeat.

Ah before I forget it. I'm a German girl who loves to write and talk and think in English so if there are some grammar mistakes or whatever you can write me a nice email, review whatever and I correct it. I'm not perfect so mistakes might happen.

So this is it. Let the show begin.